you can act a certain way

 

and i'll respond in a fairly predictable way

 

the only thing i find unpredictable is quantum theory and particle acceleration experiments

 

being smarter than me means you see things from a higher perspective

 

i avoid eye contact with everyone in public areas 80% of the time i am in public areas

 

i have settled for nothing inside of a screen that displays information to my face

 

this is what 'writers block' feels like

 

i don't believe in 'writers block' because all you need to do to write is write down your thoughts and i never don't have thoughts

 

maybe 'seller's block' is more apt

 

but lately i feel like writing something is stupid

 

because every day i could write the same thing

 

and this is what that thing could be

 

i click on gmail

 

i click on word documents

 

i click on firefox

 

i click on myspace

 

i click on my blog

 

i click on statcounter

 

i click on other blogs

 

i click on facebook

 

i click on live journal

 

i click on thesaurus.com

 

i stare at the computer screen

 

i click on all of those things again

 

i write copy

 

i read a novel

 

i feel bored and stop reading the novel

 

i boil water and watch the water

 

i make tea

 

i stare at the computer screen

 

i click on more of the same things

 

i click on them again

 

i click on microsoft word

 

i write one line of a poem and save it as the line i just wrote

 

i look at my cell phone

 

i click the one line of a poem word document

 

i write another line

 

i think 'i suck at writing, i don't have real talent'

 

i close the word document

 

i feel anxiety about money

 

i feel a generalized anxiety about everything

 

i try to understand my thoughts

 

i give up immediately

 

i click on gmail

 

i click on msn instant messenger

 

i look at my coworkers and feel alienated

 

i go to the library

 

i click on things

 

i stare at the computer screen

 

i feel annoyed

 

this happens for two hours

 

i walk home

 

i stare at the computer screen

 

i turn on my space heater

 

i tell the cat to go away

 

i feel anxiety about not giving the cat what it wants from me

 

i think 'i don't know what to do with myself; right now, and in my whole life'

 

i think 'there won't ever be anything different than this'

 

i eat fruits and vegetables

 

i eat hummus with olive bread

 

i get drunk

 

i play video games

 

i avoid the computer screen

 

i feel extreme anxiety about the internet

 

i talk to my roommate

 

i walk to the store

 

i look at people

 

i spend money on alcohol

 

i use my credit card

 

i go home

 

i stare at my computer screen

 

i click on gmail

 

i click on myspace

 

i click on facebook

 

i click on livejournal

 

i click on statcounter

 

i look at my bed

 

i look at my space heater

 

my watch beeps

 

i look at my cell phone

 

i feel anxiety about being disinterested in other people's blogs

 

i block everyone on gmail chat except for people i never chat with

 

i change my status to 'appear offline' on msn messenger

 

i smoke a cigarette

 

i wonder if i will ever make any friends in seattle

 

i feel anxiety about my parents

 

i feel like im not doing enough to appease my family

 

i click on youtube

 

i open up microsoft word

 

i write two sentences of a story

 

i close microsoft word

 

i piss

 

i look at myself in the mirror

 

i avoid making eye contact with myself in the mirror

 

i look at the cat

 

i stare at the computer screen

 

i think about joining real life more

 

i look at my novels

 

i feel like there is no way i will ever read them

 

i feel anxiety about doing nothing

 

i try to think of what i would rather be doing

 

i think about sex

 

i think that there is no one i know that i would want to have sex with

 

i think about drinking with friends

 

i think i would like to do that if i had friends

 

i cant think of anything i would rather be doing in my current situation

 

i think about how to get out of my current situation

 

i look at the computer screen

 

i click on things

 

and then this would be the second part of the poem

 

there is nothing in my reality that i feel i want enough to try

 

there is nothing in my reality that i feel i want enough to try

 

there is nothing in my reality that i feel i want enough to try

 

there is nothing in my reality that i feel i want enough to try

 

there is nothing in my reality that i feel i want enough to try

 

there is nothing in my reality that i feel i want enough to try

 

there is nothing in my reality that i feel i want enough to try

 

there is nothing in my reality that i feel i want enough to try

 

there is nothing in my reality that i feel i want enough to try

 

there is nothing in my reality that i feel i want enough to try

 

there is nothing in my reality that i feel i want enough to try

 

there is nothing in my reality that i feel i want enough to try

 

there is nothing in my reality that i feel i want enough to try

 

there is nothing in my reality that i feel i want enough to try

 

there is nothing in my reality that i feel i want enough to try

 

there is nothing in my reality that i feel i want enough to try

 

there is nothing in my reality that i feel i want enough to try

 

there is nothing in my reality that i feel i want enough to try

 

there is nothing in my reality that i feel i want enough to try

 

there is nothing in my reality that i feel i want enough to try

 

there is nothing in my reality that i feel i want enough to try

 

there is nothing in my reality that i feel i want enough to try

 

there is nothing in my reality that i feel i want enough to try

 

there is nothing in my reality that i feel i want enough to try

 

there is nothing in my reality that i feel i want enough to try

 

there is nothing in my reality that i feel i want enough to try

 

there is nothing in my reality that i feel i want enough to try

 

there is nothing in my reality that i feel i want enough to try

 

there is nothing in my reality that i feel i want enough to try

 

there is nothing in my reality that i feel i want enough to try

 

there is nothing in my reality that i feel i want enough to try

 

there is nothing in my reality that i feel i want enough to try

 

there is nothing in my reality that i feel i want enough to try

 

there is nothing in my reality that i feel i want enough to try

 

there is nothing in my reality that i feel i want enough to try

 

there is nothing in my reality that i feel i want enough to try

 

there is nothing in my reality that i feel i want enough to try

 

there is nothing in my reality that i feel i want enough to try

 

there is nothing in my reality that i feel i want enough to try

 

there is nothing in my reality that i feel i want enough to try

 

there is nothing in my reality that i feel i want enough to try

 

there is nothing in my reality that i feel i want enough to try

 

there is nothing in my reality that i feel i want enough to try

 

there is nothing in my reality that i feel i want enough to try

 

there is nothing in my reality that i feel i want enough to try

 

there is nothing in my reality that i feel i want enough to try

 

there is nothing in my reality that i feel i want enough to try

 

there is nothing in my reality that i feel i want enough to try

 

there is nothing in my reality that i feel i want enough to try

 

i will refrain from writing these poems every day

 

i don't want to write those every day

 

Brandon Gorrell Bio