The top part of my head comes off and out fly four baby birds and they fly straight up and you can't believe your eyes because that's not how baby birds are supposed to move, directly up, like that.
The top part of my head comes off and when I tilt my head to the side some water pours out and then more of it comes and eventually a tiny goldfish falls out and lands in the puddle of water and it flaps around sadly and I look up at you and wink.
The top part of my head comes off and if you just reach in there you might pull out a bar of chocolate and then you can eat the chocolate and smile or else who knows you might pull out a single beetroot or a goose, there are no guarantees in life.
The top part of my head comes off and inside there is a hedgehog wearing reading glasses and holding a tiny copy of Catch-22 and he looks up at you over the top of his glasses and says 'Do you mind?'
The top part of my head comes off and I am bleeding of course and I fall down and you can see my brain from where you're standing and you throw up and run away.
The top part of my head comes off and that beanstalk from Super Mario starts growing out of it and it goes up up up and when you climb up the beanstalk you find that at the top it's just clouds and there are no boxes or gold coins or power-ups or anything so you have to jump and fall all the way back down to Earth but that's OK because the worst that will happen is your hat will almost come off and then land back on your head again.
The top part of my head comes off and is immediately replaced by another top part of my head which comes off and is immediately replaced by another top part and so on until eventually you get bored and remember you arranged to see your cousin at the planetarium today and when you go to the planetarium it's just fine but nothing more than that.
The top part of my head comes off and you see a tiny hand and a child climbs up out of my skull and gasps for air and then hauls itself up and out and jumps down to the ground and looks up at you and dares you to kick it in the head and you really think about it for a second but decide it's probably a bad idea, then the child starts doing really bad cartwheels and you feel bad for it and then you kick the child.
The top part of my head comes off and a bright light shines out of it and when I kneel down to tie my shoelaces it shines in your face and is warm and feels good and you close your eyes and think about the beach and then you can taste metal and then the skin on your face comes off and you get cancer because of the radiation, sorry.
The top part of my head comes off and out comes the music of an ice cream van and you start tapping your foot to the music and then the music stops and you stop tapping your foot and feel lonely and look down at your empty hands and feel bad that you don't have an ice cream.
The top part of my head comes off and you are frightened about it and start to scream and I tell you don't worry, this kind of thing happens all the time and you won't stop screaming and I just look at you and watch you while you're screaming and feel kind of good about you reacting so badly to it and I realize I am going to pay really close attention to everything that's happening right now so that I can tell everyone about this at regular intervals for the rest of my life.