i feel angry tonight

 

you can’t see it on my face

 

because my back is turned

 

is there a mug? someone said

 

can you make tea? someone said

 

what? i said

 

can you boil water? someone said

 

my face is contorted in a way that my shoulders are not

 

they are aligned and relaxed

 

they show poise

 

i feel angry and i feel good about it

 

i don’t know why or what that means

 

i know that later i will go to bed

 

i know that ordinary things will happen tomorrow

 

i know that i will never achieve complete awareness

 

the kind that comes from a life spent learning everything and then unlearning everything and then existing effortlessly in some kind of naturally realized state of peacefulness that is entirely non-catatonic

 

i am trying to tell everyone something

 

and i’m not sure what it is

 

and i am constantly scanning elevated areas

 

for snipers

 

and i don’t know what to do with my time

 

and i don’t know what i want

 

and i have an angry face

 

 

 

* (This poem originally appeared in an issue of Phoenix Arts Magazine)