i just got back from the gun shop
mister rogers, i bought a
.100,000,000 caliber rifle
and here it is, i am putting it in
your hands
i feel like, you know, that one
thing, killing shit
i am awful lonely and i need
something worse
we are two hours from the shore and i
have a boat
do you see what i'm saying? what i'm
getting at?
again, murder of the first degree,
telling life what for
playing god, destructive force of
nature fuck you god
yeah, let's do that, i don't care, i
don't even care
i hear the hammerhead sharks are out
this time of year
they're feeding on the seals and the
baby seals
and whatever we throw into the water,
whatever fits
in their mouths they'll eat; today is
the greatest day
since my wife's funeral, mister
rogers; i need you
to come with me, put the butt of a
.100,000,000 caliber rifle
against your shoulder and fire into the
T of a hammerhead's
skull; please tell me that everything
inside me will not escape
today; let me hold the gun now, make
it's trigger move a little
motherfucker, i am here to break the
sixth commandment
and then i will break the second; i
have it in my hands; i am a dildo
on a stairmaster; i am shaking in the
hallway of my house
looking up at the top of the stairs
that i know i will not reach today
goddammit, fred, i hear you knocking
at the front door
come in, i say, and you are there
beside me; you say,
death is everywhere, i can smell it
in your hair
it's my shampoo, i say, i wash my
hair with the bone marrow
of orphans; you say, it's a beautiful
day in the neighborhood
and you carry me into the living room
and place me
gently on the sofa; you put a dvd in
the machine
and we watch a documentary about the
migration of geese
and i notice, for a moment, you are
not there and
my cat, smelling like heart disease,
licks my feet
and i know i am alright for today,
and tomorrow
i am going to return my .100,000,000
caliber rifle
and get something bigger